Saturday, January 10, 2009

The MUST DO list when you commit to a man...(My point of view)

The MUST DO list when you commit to a man:

-Always ALWAYS remind yourself that you accepted him, all of him, in your beginning: now you have zero right to change him after this point in time. He chose you because you proved to him that he can be himself around you.

-Never, ever quit when the going gets tough. Instead of being the crack in the wood that sinks the ship, be the solid wood that handles the storms.

-A lot of people think that conflict is UNHEALTHY, but that's not true. It's a natural occurrence. The problem is that you don't understand the difference between healthy and unhealthy anger, and you haven't learned how to express your anger in healthy ways. Couples don't fight because they DON'T care about each other, but because they DO! ( I heard this somewhere and for the life of me, can't remember where, but how true it is!)

-Forgive him for past hurts. Compile a list of his masculine virtues to focus on and NOT his past mistakes. Humbly apologise to him for YOUR past mistakes.

-Make him Number One in your life. Our life focus should be having a relationship with God first (first commandment), then our men who are blessings sent by God and then our family which are gifts from God and THEN the world (the rest of the family, friends, strangers, etc).

-Comfort him tenderly when he is tired or discouraged. Appreciate the heavy responsibility a man carries. Use the great power of sympathy. Comfort him lovingly when he comes home weary.

-Your man’s God-given role is to lead you and provide for you. Allow him to do it. Your role is to be his companion, a mother and a homemaker. Let him know your views, but support his final decision 100%.

-Allow him his freedom.

-Men deeply admire inner serenity and goodness in their woman. He wants you to be a better person than himself. Inner serenity develops in a woman when she becomes free of pride and self-righteousness, who tries to do and say the right thing, is free of guilt, and has a forgiving heart.

-Femininity delights a man. Speak cheerfully, ask submissively, with a smile and a please. He will love you more if you allow him to spoil you a little. Show appreciation.

-Men respect a spirited woman. "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control."Galatians 5:22-23a NKJV

-Release your anger as soon a it arises. Show respectful anger only when you have been clearly mistreated. Express it in a way that allows him to feel manly and protective. Never attack him, but let him know you are angry and what at or about, as I aslways say: "I'm angry at your decision/action/etc, NEVER you!

I have to refocus OFTEN, but that's ok...we're only a failure at what God has told us to do when we quit/give up. Nothing and I mean, NOTHING is worth quitting or giving up on - if you carry faith in that person or situation, then keep taking the hits, you'll grow tired and weary, but don't you give up! The breakthrough and promise for you IS right around the corner!!

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